How Bedtime Rituals and Mantras Can Transform Your Sleep – with Shannon Kaiser
Do you ever feel completely drained by the end of the day — yet the moment your head hits the pillow, your mind kicks into overdrive? Your body is ready for rest, but your thoughts start cycling through everything you didn’t finish, what you need to do tomorrow, or even old worries and self-judgment. If that sounds familiar, it’s not just stress keeping you up. Sometimes, it’s something deeper — emotional or energetic blocks that come from always trying to do more, be more, or meet everyone else’s expectations before your own.
In this week’s episode of the Sleep Like a Boss podcast, I sat down with Shannon Kaiser, a world-renowned spiritual and self-love teacher, speaker, and acclaimed empowerment coach. Shannon is the bestselling author of six books on the psychology of happiness and fulfillment, including The Self-Love Experiment, named number one of the “20 Self-Love Books That Will Lift You Up” by Oprah Magazine. She is also the designer and creator of two oracle decks and two mantra decks and guides people to awaken and align with their true selves so they can live their highest potential. Her work bridges spiritual and ancient wisdom with practical, modern tools. Shannon’s books, programs, social media content, and reels reach over 22 million people a month. She has been named one of the “Top 100 Women to Watch in Wellness” by mindbodygreen, “your go-to happiness booster” by Health Magazine, and “one of the freshest voices in mental health and wellness” by Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul.
Understanding Why Women Struggle to Rest
Many women experience a frustrating disconnect at bedtime: they’re physically exhausted but unable to quiet their minds. This common spiral often starts as soon as their head hits the pillow. The body wants rest, but the brain continues cycling through tasks, to-dos, worries, or self-judgment. This pattern isn’t just about stress — it reflects deeper emotional and energetic blocks, often tied to overachievement, people-pleasing, or internalized pressure to stay “on.”
Rather than just addressing the surface-level symptoms with better sleep hygiene, Shannon emphasizes the importance of exploring the mindset behind our resistance to rest. When rest is viewed as something to earn, it becomes elusive. But when rest is treated as a fundamental right — an act of self-love — the nervous system can begin to soften, and true restoration becomes possible.
Realistic Rituals for a Calmer Night
Evening rituals don’t have to be complex to be effective. The most powerful ones are simple, repeatable, and tailored to individual needs. Shannon recommends starting small — choosing one or two practices that signal to the body and mind that it’s safe to wind down.
Ideas include turning off screens earlier, lighting a candle to shift the mood, writing a quick journal entry to release the day, or using a mantra that helps reframe the internal dialogue. These rituals anchor the nervous system and create a sense of intentionality around bedtime. Instead of rushing to sleep, they allow a transition into rest, which can feel deeply nourishing.
Shannon suggested:
Using a simple mantra, like “It is safe for me to rest” or “I did enough today”
Lighting a candle or using calming essential oils to trigger a sense of pause
Doing a 2-minute journaling session to release the day mentally
Putting your hand on your heart and saying, “I am here. I am okay.”
“This is where self-love practices come in. When we don’t feel safe to rest, it’s often because part of us still feels we have to prove, perform, or produce. But rest isn’t a reward. It’s a birthright.”
The Role of Mantras in Emotional Recovery
The 365 Happy Bedtime Mantras book and card deck were born from Shannon’s own journey through burnout, anxiety, and sleep challenges. She discovered that nightly mantras helped reprogram the way her mind approached rest. Repeating simple affirmations created a pause in the mental noise and offered a bridge into a calmer state.
Mantras work not because they are magic words, but because they provide focus and reassurance. They create consistency. Over time, the practice builds emotional safety — a key ingredient for restorative sleep.
When It’s More Than Just a Routine Issue
Sometimes the inability to sleep points to a deeper issue than just poor habits. Emotional exhaustion, chronic overthinking, or unresolved trauma can interfere with the body's ability to relax. Signs include persistent sleep disruption despite a solid bedtime routine, anxiety around rest, or feelings of guilt when doing nothing.
In these cases, a deeper healing approach is needed. Tools like inner child work, guided self-inquiry, or somatic techniques can be helpful. Seeking support — whether through coaching, therapy, or community — allows the healing process to unfold with compassion rather than pressure.
A Mindset Shift for the Middle of the Night
When someone wakes up at 3 a.m. and can't fall back asleep, one of the most helpful things is to interrupt the frustration with a grounding thought. Instead of spiraling into stress, a calming mantra like “This moment is temporary” or “My body knows how to rest” can shift the nervous system out of panic mode.
This simple mindset shift turns the middle-of-the-night wake-up into an opportunity for self-compassion. Even if sleep doesn’t return immediately, the body can rest more deeply when met with kindness instead of criticism.
If you're ready to break the cycle of exhaustion and step into a more loving relationship with rest, start with small, meaningful changes tonight. Listen to the full Sleep Like a Boss episode to discover how mindset, mantras, and emotional healing can create a path toward better sleep and deeper self-connection.
To learn more about Shannon and her work, visit her website and connect with her on Instagram.
